JadeHades

I thought about you today Grandpa. It hurts still. I remember before you died, you told me I'd find that person who thought the same as you. Someone who thought I was strong and smart and pretty; I'd find someone who thought I was enough. Well, I did find him grandpa. I love him deeply even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't love me the same way. He thinks I'm strong and smart and pretty, just like you did Grandpa. He believes I'm enough, that I am great the way I am. He's dying though.... I've had him for so little time and there isn't much left. I'm trying to live for the time I have with him, trying so hard not to let him see how much I'm struggling. He's struggling too, pretending to everyone else he's okay. I see his tears, I see the days he's lost. I tell him it's okay, he's a good person despite the bad things he thinks he's done. It's okay to not go through that last round of chemo that won't work anyway, it's okay to be selfish and live for himself a little. I tell him its

Hello my faithful watchers, or perhaps watcher... Not sure how many of you actually read the journals but time for a new one now that the craziness of Christmas is over. I'm currently selling cosmetics, in a place not to be named.  We also sell fragrances and a woman comes up to me looking for Chanel perfume.  So I show her over to the case and say, "Which Chanel perfume were you interested in?"  I'm not sure how many of you know this so I'll tell you there are a few varieties of Chanel and we carry it in eau de premiere, eau de toilette, and eau de parfum.  Not everyone knows what these are, nor does everyone know that some Chanel my partic

She hath returned......... Yes, the CFB returned to bother me yet again. For those of you who missed the previous journal CFB= Crazy Fucking Bitch.  Read up on her, she's entertaining LOL. This time the CFB returned with reinforcements, oh yes. She brought backup to help save the "witch".  I was actually kind of expecting a scene out of Monty Python's Holy Grail....                                   "A witch, a witch! Burn her....." She brought several parishioners and her priest/minister/father/reverend (not really sure which religion she belonged to) to my register and formed a circle around me. "This girl is in need of our spiritual